TheCrazySquirrel

Tomorrow I am going to Guatemala. We are going to build an entire church in 5 days. It will be fun, exciting, and tiring. Pray for our team as we are down there. Especially since we are building it on a basically a second story floor.

That being said…this has been a weird couple of weeks leading up to the trip. It started with me loosing my passport. After a week of searching everywhere by multiple people we didn’t find it. That got me thinking: “Well maybe God doesn’t want me to go on the trip.” And when you say that you have to ask yourself “Why wouldn’t he want me to go?” Then you start answering the question, and the only real answer is death. Yes…I said death. I thought maybe I wasn’t supposed to go on the trip because the plane would crash, or I would fall off the second story, or something stupid like that. All because I lost my passport. (I got a new one this week.)

Now normally I’m not one to care about those thoughts, I can brush them off or understand them for what they really are…fear placed by Satan. I don’t mind dying so much, what I really mind is not being with my wife. That is why I don’t have these thoughts when we travel together….If I bite the dust it would be with her. But now when I go by myself I get scared.

Normally it is Wifey who talks to me about not being able to shake these types of worrisome thoughts. But this time I can’t get rid of them. This time I just could not shake that feeling like my plane might crash. I don’t know why. I have noticed that the longer I am married the more I have these types of thoughts when I have to leave my wife. Especially when I have to fly. But I never did that before a few years ago. Not this way at least. I mean I’ve made handwritten will’s out just in case something happened. But I wasn’t worried one way or the other so much. If I died then so be it. I was ok with that. Now I’m not. Now I just want to grow old with my wife.

Now, you don’t have to leave me comments about fear and stuff like that. I am well aware of Satan’s desire for me not to go on this trip and the fear he can cause. And I know that right now as my wife reads this post she is freaking out. So honey…don’t freak out, I’m ok.

So…I want you to pray for me. First, pray that I would not be hindered in any way by thoughts of “what if…” and that I would live in such a way that I would not have regrets. Pray that I would not hold to my own life, but give it fully to God. Second, pray for our safety and the the plane would not have problems and we would all return safely. Then if you would not mind…pray one more time for our safety! Thanks…and I’ll be sure to post some pictures up after I get back.

P.S.
On the off chance that I do die…this may be my last chance to tell you, but Jesus loves you, died for you, and he wants you to know him. If you have questions about what that means ask my wife.