Another Installment of “Why I’m An Idiot….today!”

February 10th, 2008 · No Comments

Since this is the second post of this type of thing, I decided to make it its own category. So now there is a category called “Idiot.” And yes Steve…I know, it should have been created long long ago. So here starts my second installment (in a week) of why I’m an idiot…today.

The AC knobs that turn the controls break in my car every couple of years. They just weren’t made to handle the turning. So when one of the working ones started to crack, the only one that actually hasn’t broken since I got the car, I decided I’d try to fix it myself or replace it. So I brought it in with me to work one day a while back and mostly forgot about it.

On a completely separate occasion, after our offices moved to our new location, I had the need for some super glue. A few things were broken during the move. So I bought some Krazy Glue, which I also had use for at home, and took it to work me to fix a couple of things. Those two stories came to head yesterday at the same time!

Earlier this week right about the time I was getting ready to go home I noticed the small knob from my car in my drawer. I also noticed the super glue next to it. Then a light went on in my brain: “Hey, remember how you wanted to fix that knob. You should fix it now. Yes yes yes I know you just got a new (used) car and don’t need it anymore, but you should fix it anyways.”

Now for those of you who are thinking right off the bat…”OMG who would ever sell him super glue?” I’ll have you know that I’m actually quite handy. I can fix lots of things, and I do sometimes. So I decided I’d fix my AC knob for the car.

See…what had happened was…

So here’s how it started. I grabbed the AC knob and the super glue and decided I woud just fix it while I was thinking about it, even though I am not driving that car right now. But I might sell my white car soon, so I would need it fixed anyways. So I got the super glue tub and took out the little pin that was in the top that keeps the glue from drying inside, and ooops, some of it just came right out on my hand and the tube. Oh well, those things happen, but better hurry and get this glue onto the cracked part on the knob.

Since I didn’t think through this a great deal before hand, I realized I didn’t really have a good way to glue the piece together without holding it with my finger. Well, I’ll just be careful and put my finger in the middle and try to glue the crack around it. So that is what I did. DANG IT…my to much glue came out and it got on my finger…stupid glue tube. Well, I’ll just remove my finger then. Wait a second….it isn’t that bad, I bet if I just press really hard for a few seconds and blow on the crack it will be fixed and I can still get my finger off. Here goes…….bbbllllloooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww.

Ok,that was good, now lets take my finger off and see if it is going to hold. Pulllllll….wait….my finger is glued to the knob, hmmmm, maybe I just need to pull harder. PPPPUUULLLLLLLLLLLL…………………………………………OOOOOWWWWWWW!!!

Now I would like to say that in all my previous experience with super glue I never glued myself to anything. That was until right that moment. Yes yes, I super glued myself to my car knob. And no I could not pull it off without also removing the front part of my finger skin.

So now what to do? Well…let’s go run hot water on it and try to get it off. I bet that will work.

A little hot water, keep some pulling pressure on it and viola….I still have a knob stuck to my finger and it is no closer to coming off.

Then reality kind of sets in. Hey stupid, you just glued your finger to a knob and now you can’t get it off and you don’t know what do. Way to go. Then I said to myself, self…you are right, I don’t know what to do. But maybe the children’s minister who routinely has to deal with stupid things children do to themselves knows what to do.

Hey Carol, do you know how to get super glue off of something, say, if someone hypothetically glued themselves to a car part? (Laughing ensues, followed by questions about what I glued myself to). No I don’t because in my however many decades of working with Children no one has ever super glued themselves to anything.

Me: Oh….ok…..well.

Carol: but I bet Google knows.

And sure enough one of the first things that came up was fingernail polish remover. I think it is the acitone in it. Anyways, there are lots of women in the office surely someone has some remover. Do you have any Carol? No. Ok.

Me: Hey Debra do you have any fingernail polish remover?
Debra: (Puzzled look on face) No, why?
Me: OH, well…..I….um…..super glued my finger to this car part and I can’t get it off without ripping off my skin. (Followed by laughter and lots of pointing).

Do this about 10 times with all the women in the office and you get the picture. Someone did put some hand sanitizer on it and that might have helped.

So there I was, laughter all around me in the office, fingers pointing, and lots of sneering and rude comments. Ok, well maybe not really all of that but by that time everyone knew and I realized no one had anything to help me and I would just have to go home and get some of Wife’s fingernail polish remover.

Of course, I just bought a car that is a stick shift and that is going to be great. But it just so happened, after several times of hitting my finger on something the knob just came off. I was kind of dissapointed actually. I didn’t get to come home and say “Look honey, I super glued my finger to the car knob today at work, how was your day?

You will notice the glue on my finger, and the AC knob…well it had lots of glue on it but it is still cracked and not fixed.

And do you remember the opening part of the story when I said that as I opened the glue tube a small bit came out. Well that small bit just happened to glue my hand to the tube. So much so that I had to rip my hand off along with the label PRINTED on the tube glued to my hand. So yes, I glued both the tube and the knob to my hands at the same time.